Oftentimes, things go OK or even better than that. But on some days, they don’t. You make a mistake, have a setback, or simply fail. It’s no fun. But you can’t avoid it either unless you avoid doing anything at all.
Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.” – C. S. Lewis
“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” – Michael Jordan
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett
What’s needed, therefore, is a smart and self-compassionate way to handle such situations instead of letting them lead to self-criticism and dragging you down into negativity. To that end, here are nine habits that can help you cope with failure in a healthier way.
- First, just accept how you feel.
When you’ve just failed, it will most likely hurt. Sometimes a bit. Sometimes a lot. That’s OK. Rather than trying to push it away by distracting yourself or shifting the blame, acknowledge the emotions. Accepting them helps you process what happened more quickly and move forward.
- Remember: You’re not a failure just because you had a setback.
Next, remind yourself that one failure does not define you. Just because you failed today doesn’t mean you will fail next time. Consequently, it’s crucial to see setbacks as temporary rather than permanent.
- Be constructive and learn from this situation.
Instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself:
- What can I learn from this?
- How can I adjust to avoid making the same mistake?
- What can I do differently next time?
Taking this reflective approach transforms failure into a valuable learning opportunity.
- Remind yourself: Anyone who wants to do great things will fail.
Success stories often leave out the failures that preceded them. For example, Michael Jordan once said: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” This quote highlights the inevitability—and the value—of failure.
- Let it out into the light.
Moreover, talking about your failure with someone you trust can help release inner pressure and give you a new perspective. It also allows you to process emotions in a safe and supportive space.
- Find inspiration and support.
In addition to personal reflection, seek external sources of motivation. Read about how others have overcome failures. Listen to motivational content or engage with people who inspire you.
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- Move forward instead of dwelling.
While it’s important to process failure, it’s equally important to avoid ruminating over it for too long. Instead, take what you’ve learned and make a practical plan to move forward.
- Take action on that plan.
Then, break your plan into small, manageable steps. Taking even one step forward can help you regain momentum and confidence.
- Improve your self-esteem.
Finally, the more you work on your self-esteem, the less failure will shake you. Remember that setbacks don’t define your worth. Learning and growing from failure makes you stronger and more resilient.
By practicing these habits consistently, failures become stepping stones rather than roadblocks, allowing you to keep pushing forward with confidence and clarity.
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