Time administration and group have by no means come naturally to me. When life turned unmanageable—a continuing since my second little one arrived—I appeared to the consultants. Not as soon as did I consider listening to my very own rhythm and physique. Productiveness, I believed, was one thing to grasp, not one thing to grasp.
Then I hit a wall.
I used to be bored with feeling like this, so I ended combating my very own nature. I ended taking productiveness recommendation from individuals who don’t have ADHD.
For years, I had been attempting to contort myself into somebody I wasn’t—structured, disciplined, and neatly organized. An individual who may comply with a system designed for a mind that didn’t work like mine. Why had I ever believed I may handle my time the identical means they did?
The shift was delicate however modified every thing. I’m unstuck, not languishing, transferring forward with function. I do know I’ll get caught once more, however I additionally know this: I’m accomplished chasing options that had been by no means meant to work for me.
At present, I’m sharing what does work—how I get issues accomplished with out draining myself within the course of. As a result of once we work towards who we’re, burnout isn’t a chance. It’s a assure.
Notes on Productiveness, Relaxation, and Worthiness
A word on productiveness.
I outline productiveness as doing what I mentioned I’d do—for myself, for others—in a means that is smart for my life. I spent two years attempting to heal burnout by “resting,” solely to really feel worse with every passing day. Seems, relaxation isn’t simply stillness. Some sorts of relaxation are lively, and studying to revive that modified every thing.
A word on relaxation.
Totally different sorts of relaxation comply with totally different sorts of productiveness. Understanding what you want means understanding your limits. Making an attempt to perform like somebody with out ADHD solely pushed me farther from these alerts. ADHD brains want various kinds of relaxation—emotional, psychological, artistic, bodily, passive.
I don’t recharge by watching TV. I recharge by studying, cooking, taking lengthy walks, and working towards Pilates. To outsiders, it’d appear like I’m all the time going, however this type of motion restores me. Typically, organizing a junk drawer is self-care. Different occasions, it’s a warning signal. After I’m mentally drained, TV helps. After I’m emotionally overwhelmed, it makes me really feel caught. Studying the distinction modified every thing.
A word on worthiness.
We’re taught to measure our price by what we produce. A part of my midlife journey has been rejecting that, untangling my worth from my output, and specializing in making relatively than measuring. Should you’re within the thick of that, this put up is probably not what you want at this time.
Your price shouldn’t be your work. However making—creating, transferring, shaping one thing from nothing—is an expression of you. It’s life-giving. It’s confidence-building. It’s the factor that may pull you out of a spiral earlier than it takes maintain. After I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It turned the pure results of discovering my move. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every thing.
After I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It turned the pure results of discovering my move. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every thing.
Residing with Limitations, Each Psychological and Bodily
I’m a working mom with hobbies, a social life, and a deep appreciation for a great night time’s sleep and day by day bodily motion. I don’t wish to give any of that up. So, I settle for that I don’t have lengthy, uninterrupted stretches for deep-focus work like I used to.
I additionally settle for that generally I don’t know if I would like relaxation or momentum. The one solution to know is by tuning into my physique, and that requires emotional regulation, which can be arduous to entry while you’re overstimulated.
My skill to entry my most “productive” self is proscribed and never constant. Understanding I’m not all the time going to make the precise alternative helps me discover some grace relatively than falling right into a disgrace spiral. I used to make my incapacity to get issues accomplished imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I may give myself what I would like. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
Reaching optimum productiveness on daily basis is unrealistic. After I do yoga, my physique can really feel completely totally different from someday to the following. Brains are like that too. There are occasions when work and life really feel like an uphill battle. Switching duties feels more durable than it ought to be. And there are seasons the place effectivity simply isn’t within the playing cards—accepting that has been key to discovering a means by means of.
As a result of I don’t have hours to ease into focus, I’ve needed to hack my system. In doing that, I realized three important rules that assist me get issues accomplished with a neurodivergent mind: simplicity, urgency, and momentum.
Right here’s how they form my day by day life.
3 Rules I Comply with for Improved “Productiveness”
Precept 1: Simplicity
I preserve easy methods for capturing concepts, documenting duties, and organizing all the above. The hot button is that the processes are simple to repeat and every thing is simple to entry—nothing is ever too difficult. That is paramount.
I exploit the Notes app and Reminders app on my cellphone in addition to Notion to avoid wasting concepts and duties. I additionally write issues down on paper as a result of I’ll by no means be a completely digital individual. The mind processes handwriting fully in another way than typing. Except for Notion, the apps on my cellphone are VERY easy and simple to make use of.
I exploit the bucket system for digital recordsdata (and bodily objects in my house), one thing I first realized about from KC Davis, writer of How one can Preserve Home Whereas Drowning. I exploit digital buckets to arrange recordsdata on my laptop in these classes: To-Do Lists, Writing, Enterprise Initiatives, Content material Creation, Household, Our Residence, Studying, Finance, Psychological Well being, Cooking, Journey, Bodily Well being, and Purchasers.
Precept 2: Urgency
These of us who’re deeply aware of procrastination comprehend it’s a nasty behavior that “works” as a result of we get issues accomplished as soon as we really feel the stress of time. Nevertheless, I found that once I procrastinate and rush to get every thing accomplished rapidly, I really feel like my work is missing as a result of I don’t have time to apply deep work and get all my concepts out. To interrupt the cycle of procrastination, I must create my very own urgency. This precept comes into play by way of the timer I exploit (extra on this beneath).
Precept 3: Momentum
With any motion, I’ve lengthy identified the toughest half is getting began, which is why creating momentum is so essential. As a result of transitions are so troublesome for individuals with ADHD, the precept of momentum retains us going.
To create my day by day momentum, I carried out a morning routine that’s pared right down to the fundamentals and prioritizes essentially the most difficult factor first. I stand up, brew espresso, and sit right down to work instantly. This creates a pure inflow of dopamine that may carry me by means of the day. I used to meditate and stretch earlier than attending to work, and now I do it after I end one thing that takes loads of focus. I really feel superb and able to deal with something once I use momentum like this.
4 Productiveness Instruments I Swear By
For a similar causes I’m a fan of utilizing pen and paper, I like bodily instruments that aren’t on my cellphone. Listed below are the 4 I all the time have at my desk.
1. Keep on Observe Planner: This planner helps me plan the main points of every week.
2. Timer: That is for working towards the Pomodoro approach and for simulating and creating urgency and constraints. I’ve three of them.
3. The Brick: The Brick blocks choose apps on my cellphone for a set period of time. Having a bodily device to restrict my digital entry is essential for me. Brick wins for its simplicity.
4. Apple Headphones: To lock in and tune out. White noise, sound bowls, EDM, rap. Doesn’t matter what it’s so long as I can’t hear what’s happening round me.
I additionally flip to a couple choose assets and folks for recommendation on productiveness:
My Work Routine
On Sunday night time or Monday morning, I mind dump every thing into my Keep on Observe Planner—duties, concepts, and notes I’ve collected all through the week in my Notes and Reminders apps. Then, I exploit the Eisenhower Matrix to type what’s pressing, what can wait, what might be delegated, and what’s simply noise. I hate planning, however I’ve realized that pushing by means of this step makes every thing else simpler.
When it’s time to work, I take my brick and timer wherever I’m going—whether or not it’s my workplace, the eating desk, or a espresso store. I placed on my headphones, choose a activity, and set a timer: 25 minutes for small duties like emails and captions, 45 minutes for deeper work like writing and design. The timer retains me from falling into perfectionism (which is simply procrastination in disguise).
I additionally set agency bodily and digital boundaries. My cellphone stays out of attain, my texts are on mute, and if my workplace divider is up, my household is aware of I would like uninterrupted time. It’s not good—children nonetheless stroll in—but it surely helps everybody be extra aware about what pressing truly means.
On the finish of the day, I ask myself: Do I must push by means of or name it an evening? If I really feel like ending my to-do listing will show I “labored arduous sufficient,” I’m going to mattress. If wrapping up one final activity will assist tomorrow’s momentum, I give myself 30 extra minutes. No inflexible guidelines—simply tuning in.
I used to make my incapacity to get issues accomplished imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I may give myself what I would like. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
The Energy of Discomfort
I not take ease with no consideration as a result of I understand how arduous easy issues might be. I used to attend for the right circumstances to jot down—now I jot issues down in the midst of a grocery retailer. I comply with ease when it presents itself.
However discomfort is all the time there.
When huge tasks really feel overwhelming (good day, writing a e book), I take into consideration Phil Stutz’s string of pearls idea—progress is simply including one small motion at a time. Some pearls aren’t nice, however the level is to maintain including them. Getting began is 80% of the battle, and resistance by no means absolutely disappears.
Over time, I’ve come to understand the ache of doing arduous issues. It’s stripped my ego from productiveness and proven me the meditative energy of merely doing. The ache of making comes from caring a lot that we’re afraid—and that’s lovely.
We don’t must boss-babe our means again to hustle tradition, however possibly we swung too far within the different path. I do know I did. Now, I consider self-care as self-respect: How can I make decisions at this time that honor what I care about most?
There’ll all the time be elements of the method we hate, however the extra we do them, the higher we get at pushing by means of. And in doing so, we deliver what we deeply care about to life.
Kate is the founding father of Wit & Delight. She is presently studying play tennis and is endlessly testing the boundaries of her artistic muscle. Comply with her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.
